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Vincent   van   Mechelen


 NOTES OF THE METRIC MONTHS FROM 56 TO 59 ASWW 




CAUGHT IN THE CROSS- AND CRESCENT-FIRE

Those not adhering to one of the major Abraham religions who are inclined to think "Let them kill one another" must not forget that they may have an equal chance of being caught in the Cross- and Crescent-fire themselves.

59.NMY-59th Southern Late Lent



SWINGING THE BIG PRICK

What do you call the argument of a man who says that he will rape you, if you don't agree that he may have you?

44.NEY-59th Southern Mid-Lent



SCRIPTURE AND THE DEVIL

The devil can not only cite Scripture for its or 'er purpose, the devil needs Scripture for his purpose. Take anti-Jewish religionism or racism, for instance.

59.NLY-59th Southern Early Lent



FOUR-CHARACTER WORD

The female appendage as a four-character word: 'Lieutenant and Mrs. Peter Buckland, R.N. (Retd.)'.

44.NML-59th Southern Equinoctial



THE MERCHANT OF VENOM

Shakespeare was also a businessperson, rather than an innovator, in that 'e --or rather he-- exploited several types of contemporary prejudice (from the lowest popular sentiments to cultivated superstition) in order to please his Christianist audience and to suit his monarchist clients.

59.NLY-59th Southern Mid-Yule



SPECULATION

The essential thing which capitalism and supernaturalism have in common is speculation.

42.SLL-59th Southern Early Yule



AN ANT ON THE NIGHTWATCH

Some people visit TRINPsite and have only some sour comment on the presentation. They remind me of the ant who, after a visit to the Nightwatch, was asked what 'e thought of the work and whose answer was that 'e didn't like the bitter taste of the canvas.

59.NLY-59th Equatorial Month



THE CALLOUSED HAND OF GOD

According to the Abraham religions pure and simple an AIDS patient is not the victim of a disease but the target of a supreme being.

42.NMY-59th Northern Late Lent



A TREACLE TART

What do the British call a prostitute who is fond of molasses?

59.NEY-59th Northern Mid-Lent



GOD AND THE DEVIL EXIST

I know God  and the Devil exist, but i do not believe in God or the Devil.

ca 30-59th Northern Equinoctial



FASHIONS WAITING TO BE TRANSCENDED

Selective anti-racism, anti-'anti-Semitism' and verbal anti-sexism are fashions waiting to be transcended by a total view of the relevancy, or rather irrelevancy, of discrimination.

38.NMY-59th Northern Late Yule



SUSPENSION IN LITERATURE AND IN RELIGION

To look upon the Vedas, the Bible and the Koran as literary writings is to ask for a temporary suspension of disbelief; to look upon them as sacred writings for oneself is to demand an eternal suspension of reason and common sense.

58.SMY-59th Northern Mid-Yule



YES A MASS-MURDERER, BUT NO HOMOSEXUAL

President Museveni of Uganda is willing to let Idi Amin be buried there, but refuses to admit that, in the late (heterosexual) mass-murderer's country, some fellow-citizens may be homosexual.

58.SMY-59th Northern Early Yule



A MONSTROSITY

Isn't it tragicomic that a member of such an exclusivist political monstrosity as the British House of Lords denounced the word relevant as a monstrosity? How antirelevant the lords and ladies of irrelevantism can get!

42.SMY-58th Southern Late Lent



ORAL EXAM

The sex-worker flunked her oral exam, because she didn't know how to pronounce her client's name right during the act.

58.NEY-58th Southern Mid-Lent



NO MENTION

The Abraham religions will eventually be brought to justice by a book in which they are not mentioned.

38.SEY-58th Southern Early Lent



A SPLINTER GROUP

What do you call a small community of lumberjacks?

58.EQU-58th Southern Equinoctial



THE QUEEN SAVE GOD

In this time of dechristianization it is the Queen and her suite who are left with the dreadful task of saving God from Allah and nothing.

ca 29.EQU-58th Southern Mid-Yule



HOW NOT TO BAKE A CHERRIE PIE

The other day a theater advertisement in Amsterdam read: "How to Bake a Cherrie Pie". The title of the play should have been: "How to Spell a Cherry Pie".

39.NLY-58th Southern Early Yule



ALAS, NOT TO THE NORM

Someone who claims that 'no-one comes to the Father but by me' has not come to the Norm.

58.NEM-58th Equatorial Month



GREAT BRITON

Not all Brits are great.

42.NEY-58th Northern Late Lent



LET BELIEVERS LIE AND DON'T

For some people God and Heaven, Devil and Hell, may be worth believing in (and lying about), for no-one they are worth starting to believe in.

57.EQU-58th Northern Mid-Lent



THEIR DOCTORS DO NOT HAVE GENITALS

In traditional English everyone is a 'Mr Sex-and-So' or a 'Mrs Sex-and-So' (if married), as if gender were always fully relevant, except a doctor: he or she is not a Mr or a Mrs but a 'Doctor So-and-So', regardless of sex.

58.NEY-58th Northern Equinoctial



ORTHODOX RELIGIOUS SCHOOLS

Orthodox religious schools teach the language of Leviathan, the physics of a flat earth, the chemistry of brimstone, and biology out of nothing.

43.NMY-58th Northern Late Yule



A GRASSSHOPPER

What do you call someone with long legs who jumps out to buy marijuana somewhere in a building used for selling to the public?

57.SML-58th Northern Mid-Yule



TURKEYS!

What do you call living beings that are not exclusively male or not exclusively heterosexual or not living in Israel or not even monotheistic, and that celebrate Christmas nevertheless?

42.EQU-58th Northern Early Yule



GOING THROUGH HER DRAWERS

She caught him going through her drawers. But then she noticed with a deep sigh ... that she did not have them on.

57.EQU-57th Southern Late Lent



JUDEO-CHRISTIANIST LUNATICS

A Judeo-Christianist regime sends astronauts to the moon in order to read from their Bible and to pray to their God, using the natural distance for the corroboration of their supernaturalist illusions.

36.NEY-57th Southern Mid-Lent



CLOSING HER EYES AND THINKING OF G.B.'S PARTS

Queen Victoria closed her eyes and thought of England during vaginal copulation. It makes one wonder what she was doing while closing her eyes and thinking of Wales or Scotland.

57.NEY-57th Southern Early Lent



GERMAN-CATHOLIC THEODEMONISM

A Catholic bishop claims that the August floods in Germany were God's punishment for today's sins. As these floods were the worst in 100 years, it proves again that his august god was not in the least disturbed by the mass murder of millions of innocent people in the same region only 60 years earlier, when there were no such floods.

57.SMY-57th Southern Equinoctial



"NOT ANY MORE"

Grandma's condition is rapidly deteriorating. On the form she had to complete for the insurance company she filled in under her personal data after SEX: "not any more". But it's all her own fault, ...
for there are enough nice men who prefer a mature lady to a silly wench.

57.NLL-57th Southern Mid-Yule



WESTERN PHILOSOPHY

If the whole later development of Western philosophy can be regarded as a series of extended footnotes to Plato, then it is high time to start a new book.

35.SML-57th Southern Early Yule



CHRISTIAN TALIBAN

What good does it do a country when it has rid the whole world of an Islamic Taliban, while a Christian Taliban is taking over within itself?

57.NLY-57th Equatorial Month



A QUESTION OF SUCCESSION (DUTIES)

Under current law citizens such as Elizabeth Windsor and Beatrix von Lippe do not have to pay succession duties on their excessive inheritances, but hypocritical politicians who claim to be in favor of social justice and equality before the law keep on collaborating blithely and faithfully with this discriminatory monarchism. The real question is therefore not so much who will succeed those monarchs, but who will succeed those politicians.

57th Northern Late Lent



WHAT'S A MISEROTIC?

A miserotic |MAIza-ROtik| is a miser who enjoys saving his or her virginity or chastity and who eschews even the simplest and safest forms of erotic satisfaction.

57.NEY-57th Northern Mid-Lent



MAHARAJAS

Where India managed to get rid of hundreds of maharajas, countries like the United Kingdom did not even manage to get rid of merely one.

56.NML-57th Northern Equinoctial



ADOLF SCHWEITZER

A sacred book that combines the writings and ideas of Adolf Hitler and Albert Schweitzer in one volume is my abomination, even tho its unity is supposed to be provided by calling both of them "God".

40.NEY-57th Northern Late Yule



THE UK HAD BETTER BE PREPARED

The United Kingdom --and i don't mean Great Britain or Ireland-- had better be prepared, for the Christian Middle Ages are bound to be succeeded by another era!

42.NLL-57th Northern Mid-Yule



EURO QUESTION

As Dutch-made 2-euro coins have the nazi SS motto on the edge, will it be possible to pay with German euro coins in the Netherlands?

56.SLL-57th Northern Early Yule



AGAIN, THE SON OF A CARPENTER

I, too, am the son of a carpenter, but the real son of a carpenter who later became a model maker, architect and artist and who would never have rejoiced at only being Superman's foster father.

41.SML-56th Southern Late Lent



BEGGARS AND MILLIONAIRES

Traveling thru Europe and North America you see more and more beggars in the streets and more and more millionaires in the papers.

56.SMY-56th Southern Mid-Lent



THE BIBLE IS RIGHT

The Bible is right: it is said to contain 1600 hostile references to left-handers.

56.SEY-56th Southern Early Lent



THIS LANGUAGE

I don't write in British English for the British nor in American English for the Americans, but i write as a world citizen for other world citizens in This Language, which is, at the moment, spoken as a first or foreign language by more people than any other language.

45.SML-56th Southern Equinoctial



MUTUAL SUCCOR

The sociable relieve each other by mutual succor.

39.NLY-56th Southern Mid-Yule



IDEAS FROM THE STONE THROWERS AGE

There is still an army of hate critters going around with denominational ideas from the Stone Throwers Age.

56.NLL-56th Southern Early Yule



IT IS WHAT TO CARESS WHAT?

It is mere consonance to caress your cat; it is alliteration to caress your relative.

56.NLY-56th Equatorial Month



THE THIRTEENTH SUPERSTITION

Where people are so superstitious that they dare not live on the thirteenth floor of an apartment building, you wonder about the quality of their other beliefs.

26 ASWW-56th Northern Late Lent



A LITERARY TRAGEDY

Dante's Divine Comedy is indigestible --what a waste of talent, what a literary tragedy. It makes the Biblical weather forecast come true: Heaven is even worse than Hell.

55.SMY-56th Northern Mid-Lent



PRST... THE OLDEST PROFESSION

The oldest profession may be either prostitution or the priesthood.

56.NLY-56th Northern Equinoctial



A SHARE OF JOKES 'N' JIBES

Anyone entering the ideological arena is likely to receive 'er share of jokes and jibes. Receiving a share of jokes and jibes is itself a sign of being recognized in the ideological arena.

42.EQU-56th Northern Late Yule



SOMETHING TO HISS AT

Feminists who substitute woman, women or her for man, men or his in every word, even where these three letters do not, and never did, refer to males at all (as in the word history), are womentally ill womaniacs. Perhaps, they can be cured from their allergy with a little bit of antihertamine.

42.NLY-56th Northern Mid-Yule



IT'S ONLY A MATTER OF TIME

Worldwide-Webbers don't go Gregorian anymore -- it's only a matter of (Metric) time.

56th Northern Early Yule





©MVVM, 53-60 ASWW

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